Sunday, 28 December 2008


I went for a jog the other day, and was surprised to run through several clouds of gnats. This is obviously not a huge deal, but it is a bit annoying to have little bugs plunging into your mouth and eyes. However, what I thought was strange, is that this particular day, was the first warm day we had had in a little while. When it is cold out, there are not any bugs to speak of. But the first day that it had warmed up, they were out in numbers.

I'm just curious what gnats do while it's cold. Where are they all hiding? Do they just sit somewhere till it gets warm enough to fly into peoples' eyes?? They are like a bunch of kamikaze's, waiting for it to warm up so they can die in order to slightly irritate someone. I wouldn't mind sitting down with the king of the gnats, and explaining that these kamikaze deaths are not necessarily the honorable deaths that they think they are.

"How are you doing mr. gnat??"
- I'm doin alright, can I help you??
"Well, I've noticed that your followers seem to try and fly into people's eyes and mouths."
- Ahh...yes, I was wondering when this was going to come up. It is the nature of war my son...we have many that are willing to die in honor, to protect ourselves, and our way of life.
"To be frank with you, people are not really at war with gnats...we just can't see you and accidentally walk into you....We would rather stay away from you honestly. Furthermore...about the honorable deaths you speak of...they don't really achieve very much at just kind of irritates us for a minute till we get the dead body out of our eye or mouth."
- I understand why this is very disturbing news to me....we will now need many more soldiers willing to die to slay our enemy.
", actually that wasn't my point. I don't think you will be able to kill any humans that are just sacrificing gnats for nothing.
- That is your soon as the weather warms up permanently...we will be out in full force, defending ourselves!! (flies out of the room)

Well that didn't go as planned. Sorry everyone, I may have just made our relationship with the gnats much, much worse.

Happy New Year, and beware of the gnats.


Rebecca said...

This blog reminds me of all of those hilarious away messages you used to post during college. It's great.

Sara said...

sure wish you'd update your blog jules!!